He doesn't see the situation as permanent. He fully expects to get on the team next year and is already thinking of how to make that happen. Jake tends to be more pessimistic.
He thinks: "No wonder I didn't make it — I was the worst one at tryouts and the coach doesn't really like me. I never get a break. I might as well face it, I'm just not a great athlete. He blames himself, but he also sees outside factors the coach, life as working against him. Even worse, he lets this one event make him doubt his athletic abilities altogether. Which guy is more likely to feel discouraged longer? Who is more likely to practice more and try again?
Who is more likely to give up? Optimism lets us see disappointing events as temporary situations that we can get past. It strengthens us to try again rather than give up. It allows us to keep our goals and dreams in play so we can act on the motivation to keep working toward them.
Because of this, optimistic people feel more in control of their situations and have higher self-esteem. Pessimism influences us to take disappointments and rejections personally. It also makes them seem more permanent than they are. A pessimistic outlook exaggerates the negative aspects of a situation so they overshadow anything positive.
Pessimistic thinking makes it harder to cope when things don't go as hoped. Optimism isn't about seeing everything as rosy. Optimists don't ignore problems or pretend life is perfect. They just choose to focus on what's good about a situation and what they can do to make things better. Optimists have true confidence because they're prepared: They know they need to study if they want to ace a tough test. They know they can't make the basketball team without practicing.
Optimism goes hand-in-hand with action. It's about finding a healthy balance of positive and realistic thinking. Pessimism can drag us down — so it's good to know we can change a negative mindset. But that doesn't mean erasing all negative thinking. Begin the practice of countering your negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
I work harder than they do. So much of being a pessimist is simply being ungrateful with what we have. One of the main tools I am using in my journey towards optimism is the practice of gratitude. If you want to produce a better mindset in your life you must begin seeing all the good things that you have been gifted.
No matter how bad your life is, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in, you have something to be grateful for. Make a list of things you are grateful for right now. That mindset just fuels the fire of negativity. You must begin to fuel the fire of positivity in your own mind. When you find yourself complaining or being upset with something try to remember what you have to be grateful for.
This simple practice can produce huge changes in your walk from a pessimist to an optimist. If you are anything like me, you were constantly talking about the negatives. When trying to change your focus towards optimism instead of pessimism you must watch what comes out of your mouth. Your words and your thoughts are very intricately connected and if you are constantly talking to others about only the negatives than of course your mind will be filled with negative thoughts.
Now, this leads me to say this. Watch who you are associating yourself with. It may cause you to change your circle and who you choose to be around. Some people are just experts at finding the bad in any good situation. If you are constantly around that kind of pessimism of course you will be affected. Having a strong support system is crucial.
You should be mindful of your thoughts and how certain people affect your thinking. Also remember to show grace to them. I write this from a perspective of knowing that I am a recovering pessimist and it is not right for me to look down on those who hold the same mindset that I held for so many years.
Certain people will be instruments of healing and guides to lead you to better thinking. Others will not. You have to discern this for yourself. In addition to watching who you talk to and how you talk to them, you also should be aware of how you talk to yourself. I know I can be very hard on myself and downright ugly when I fail.
This is so important! Watch how you talk to yourself. You did not become a pessimist overnight. It will take time for these habits to kick in. Hopefully you will begin to see changes in your thinking right away, but even if you reap great benefits this is not a battle that is won quickly.
Scientists say it takes over two months for a new habit to take form in your life. It is okay! It is only natural for this to take time. Be patient with yourself. Recognize where your thinking is going and correct it. Make time to take inventory of your own strengths and resources. Stress results when we feel the demands of a situation exceed our resources to handle them.
Keeping your available resources in mind can reduce stress and help you feel empowered as you move through life. Practicing mindfulness is another helpful strategy. Mindfulness is a technique that involves focusing on the here and now rather than worrying about the past and future.
One thing that positive psychology research has taught us is that major setbacks do not cause people to feel unhappy for as long as people predict. After a few weeks or months, people who have experienced a major crisis generally return to their regular level of happiness or unhappiness.
Optimists tend to feel happier in general, and pessimists tend to feel less happy than that. Sometimes enduring a crisis provides you with just the right motivation to do that. In fact, it's those who have close friends and a strong sense of community, those who feel gratitude , and those who have a sense of meaning in life who feel the happiest.
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